And before I knew it, I had hit “Send “. The mail had been sent, it took some time for me to come to terms for what I had done.
But I had to do it. There was no option left.
It had been the toughest ever decision of my life. Seven years is not a short period to be in a relationship, to love someone, to dedicate oneself without caring about anything else in life; for someone who had been my life, my only reason to live.
Decisions like these are never easy to take , but they have to be taken…
The confession came as the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t believe; rather I never believed anyone, even my best friend who had tried to show me the truth.
But I was blind; blind & dumb in the love of someone who was an apple of my eye.
My friends had given me subtle hints; some had even broken off from me because I had stopped caring about them anymore. My priority in life had changed entirely.
My mornings, my evenings and my nights had revolved around her.I did not care about food, drink or sleep.
It used to be days, weeks , sometimes months when I answered calls of my parents or called them back.
A person who was once an outgoing extrovert had turned into a moron.
Seven days back in the heat of moment, the truth was revealed.
“Yes.Yes…. I am in love with Anshuman….. I want to marry him.. I have already told my parents …” the phone was disconnected… It fell dead.. and so did I.
Those words kept echoing in my mind all these days and night. I tried several times to reach her.. First she did not pick my call and later she switched it off. She did not talk to me even once; neither did her sister or any other common friend. All the channels of communication were shut off.
I was left to crumble and die, bit by bit. My dreams had come shattering down. In a split second everything came to an end.
It was the hardest decision to make. A decision which I had never thought in the wildest of my dreams.
But I had decided, I started writing down ….
From the day we met, we chatted, our first movie, our first date, our first valentine, our first outing , out first fight, the ice creams, chocolates , long drives,teddy bears……
The tears I shed in loneliness when she first ignored me, the sleepless nights I had after our fights, the unending saga of “I am sorry” for the fights which I even did not do.
The immense love I had for her, the heartbreak which she had given to me ,a wound which may never heal again, a pain which seems impossible to get cured.
My pledge and a promise that I will never ever contact her again , that she would never see me again, that I will be gone forever, …….
I had lost my senses, I just kept on writing, I poured my heart out.. It seemed it would never end…
I moved the cursor on the send button….My hands were shivering; my soul was in pain… And before I knew it, I had hit “Send “.